I Love My Family… But I Miss Myself

Why wanting more than motherhood doesn’t make you less of a mom

Let’s talk about something most of us feel, but few of us say out loud: mom guilt.

That sneaky little emotion shows up when you want to start a new hobby, go back to school, pursue a passion, or even just have a few minutes of silence without being needed. It whispers, “Shouldn’t you be doing something for your family instead?” And honestly, it’s exhausting.

But here are a few things that have helped me let go of that guilt over time, and I’m not alone in this journey — this article shares even more on how to let go of mom guilt.

Wanting something for yourself doesn’t mean you love your family any less. It means you’re human.

Why the Guilt Creeps In

Motherhood often comes with a silent expectation: that we should be endlessly selfless, completely fulfilled by our kids, and available 24/7 without complaint.

Sound familiar?

While our children are absolutely the center of our world, it doesn’t mean our identity has to stop at “Mom.” We had lives before this role — dreams, passions, goals — and they didn’t disappear the moment we became parents. They just got buried under diapers, dishes, and endless “what’s for dinner?” questions.

Reframing the Narrative

Let’s flip the script.

• What if pursuing your ambitions actually makes you a better mom?
• What if your growth gives your children permission to dream, explore, and evolve too?
• What if the example you set by honoring your needs shows them how to honor their own?

Because the truth is: Your kids are watching. And when they see you show up for yourself, unapologetically and joyfully, they learn that it’s okay to do the same.

When your kids see you following your passions, they learn it’s okay to follow theirs too — research even backs this up.

My Journey With Mom Guilt

When I found out I was pregnant while planning a business, my emotions were all over the place. There was excitement, fear, and this weird internal pressure to pick one path. I felt guilty for even wanting to keep going. Like somehow, ambition and motherhood couldn’t live in the same space.

But over time, I realized I didn’t have to choose between being a loving mom and a fulfilled human being. I could be both. I could build something for me while still being everything my daughter needs. It just might look different than I imagined — and that’s okay.

4 Ways to Quiet the Guilt and Fuel Your Fire

If you’re struggling with guilt for wanting more than motherhood, here are a few things that have helped me:

1. Redefine What “Selfish” Means

Taking care of yourself or working toward your goals isn’t selfish. It’s self-honoring. You can’t pour from an empty cup — so refill yours as often as you need.

2. Start Small, But Start

You don’t have to leap into a full-time business or degree. Try 15 minutes a day doing something that’s just for you. Journal, read, brainstorm, paint. Small steps matter.

3. Surround Yourself With Support

Find people who remind you that it’s okay to want more. Whether it’s friends, online communities, or fellow mompreneurs — connection is everything.

4. Talk to Yourself Like You Talk to a Friend

Would you guilt your best friend for chasing her dreams? Of course not. Be just as kind to yourself.

You Are More Than One Thing

You are a mom.
You are a dreamer.
You are a multi-dimensional, powerful, ever-evolving woman.

So if you need a little nudge today: go after that thing that lights you up. The world needs it. Your kids will benefit from it. And most importantly — you deserve it.

Let’s Talk:

Have you ever felt guilty for wanting something for yourself as a mom? How did you handle it? Drop a comment or send me a message — I’d love to hear your story. 💬💛